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List of Speeches



Briefcase Full of Blues Intro
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Universal Amphitheatre. Well, here it is, the late seventies going on 1985. You know, so much of the music we hear today is all pre-programmed electronic disco, we never get a chance to hear master blues men practicing their craft anymore. By the year 2006, the music known today as the blues will exist only in the classical records department of your local library. So tonight ladies and gentlemen, while we still can, let us welcome, from Rock Island Illinois, the blues band of Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers.

Cannes Introduction
Speech By: Elwood Blues

When the band travels internationally, their lead vocalist is an extremely talented blues man. Please, a warm welcome for the Irish Tenor gone to Sin, Tommy 'Pipes' McDonnell!

Return of the Blues Brothers Speeches
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Intro:
And now ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the world's hottest nightclub, the House of Blues. Ah, yes. And for this fantastic benefit, The Artists Rights Foundation of America, will you please welcome to the stage, and individual who lives to keep the music of his brother Jake Blues alive. From Joliet city, Illinois, this is Elwood Blues!

Intro for Brother Zee:
And now ladies and gentlemen, it is my distinct pleasure... to welcome to the stage, the young blood in the Blues Brothers act... he is the blood brother of Jake Blues. He lives to keep the music of OUR brother alive, he will be joining us in all further Blues Brothers performances. I ask you to welcome tonight Brother Zee Blues!

Intro for Steve Cropper:
Ladies and Gentlemen, an individual has just walked on the stage. This is the man who wrote 'Dock of the Bay'. Right here, he wrote 'Ninety-Nine and a Half'. He was Otis Redding's guitar player, a member of the Bar-Kays and the MG's. Ladies and Gentlemen one of the original soul-men Mr Steve Cropper joins us this evening.

Intro for Mack:
And now ladies and gentlemen, living history is going to be made. Blues Brother number one stands before you, I am the original Elwood Blues, still alive and still a walking human biped. I am joined tonight by the blood brother of Jake, Zee Blues! And ladies and gentlemen the world will now see, for the first time and forever, our third Blues Brother, a man whose heart is as big as his talents, here he is, Mighty Mack Blues!

Intro for Sam Moore:
Once again ladies and gentlemen, from Joliet city, Illinois, the Blues Brothers Elwood, Zee and Mighty Mack.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to bring out a man - a man who is all soul - the Blues Brothers would not exist if it were not for this man. In the 1960's he was a Stax Volt Atlantic Records recording star. The man that sang 'I Thank You'. The man that sang 'Hold On, I'm Coming'. The man that sang 'Soothe Me'. This is the original soul man himself, let him walk out here right now - Sam Moore!

Live on New Years Eve
Speech By: Elwood Blues

(To the music of "Can't Turn You Loose")
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Winterland Ballroom. Well, they tell us that this is the last concert on the last night of Winterland because, well, not because people don't want it, because construction regulations refuse to permit the building to stand any longer. So while we still can, let us let the blues ring out in this fine, fine concert hall and welcome, from Rock Island, Illinois, the blues band of 'Joliet' Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers.

Blues Brothers 2000 - Elwood's Motivational Speech
Speech By: Elwood Blues

(Elwood, inspired, and Buster walk out of the woods to the opening strains of Green Onions'... )
You may go if you wish.
Remember this: Walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gansta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccarine, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Jimmie Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louie Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonnyboy Williamson I (and II), Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Pressley, Lieber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss.

Donald Duck' Dunn: 'Who is Robert K. Weiss?'

Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of Blues, R&B, and Soul, and when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind through seven decades leading to the millenium will whither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect.

Intro - 'Live From Chicago's House Of Blues'
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this venerable architectural complex, the world famous Marina city, on the banks of the clean green Michigan Ditch, running through the heart of the greatest music metropolis in the world, Chicago, Illinois.
In acknowledgement and celebration of the place where the blues became electrified and where the greatest talents in the field of blues culture spread the words and rhythms worldwide, it is with sincere gratitude and a feeling of honour that we recognize the citizens of Chicago, who have permitted us to come here and establish the world's newest and biggest House Of Blues.
In the spirit of gratefulness, we ourselves have assembled the finest performers in the field of American soul, rhythm and blues, and blues music. So get yourself pumped for the party of the millenium as we commence our show, by inviting these globally renowned master professionals on to our stage .
On the percussion kit, from New York City, New York, our driver, Danny 'G-Force' Gottlieb. On bassguitar, from Memphis, Tennessee, former Bar-Kay, former M.G. and Stax-Volt recording artist, Donald 'Duck' Dunn. The Rolls-Bentley of bassplayers. On lead and rhythm guitar, from Willon Springs, Missourri, former Bar-Kay, M.G. and Stax-Volt recording artist, Steve 'The Colonel' Cropper. On lead and rhythm guitar, from Sunflower, Mississippi, former Chess recording artist, Matt 'Guitar' Murphy. On keyboards, from Augaster, Georgia, and a star of the Saturday Night Live show, Leon 'Pen' Pendarvis. From South-Carolina on saxophone, Lou - the famous Lou 'Blue Lou' Marini. On trombone from Dublin, Georgia, Birch 'Crimson Slide' Johnson. On trumpet, from Brooklyn, New York, the heart and soul of the Blues Brothers Band, our most beloved band member Al 'Mister Fabulous' Rubin. And on keyboards, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, star of the David Letterman show, our resident musicologist, doctor Paul 'The Shiv' Shaffer. And ladies and gentlemen, for your surprise pleasure we welcome from Wichita, Kansas, in an exclusive engagement with our band, the only man they call Joe 'Slidemaster' Walsh.
People, this is the all star international showband of 'Joliet' Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers Band.

The Blues Brothers showband. And now, the House Of Blues is proud to present, the bloodbrother of Jake Blues, brother Zee Blues, and the man who lives to keep the music of his brother alive, from Calumet city, Illinois, Elwood Blues.
These are the original, one and only, certified, no imitation, Blues Brothers.

'Everybody Needs Somebody To Love' - 'Best of...' Version
Speech By: Elwood Blues

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight, and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of the California Highway Patrol, who are waiting for me and Jake after the show. We sincerely hope that you all will enjoy the show, and please remember people, that no matter who you are, and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are things that make all of us the same. You, me, my brother Jake, Wilson Picket, Solomon Burke, everybody people, everybody.

'Everybody Needs Somebody To Love' - Soundtrack Version
Speech By: Elwood Blues

We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight, and we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois' Law Enforcement Community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you'll all enjoy the show, and please remember people, that no matter who you are, and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You, me them, everybody, everybody.

You know people when you do find that somebody, hold that woman, hold that man, love him, hold him, squeeze her, please her, hold her, squeeze and please that person, give 'em all your love, signify your feelings with every gentle caress. Because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, kiss, miss, squeeze and please.

Going Back to Miami Intro
Speech By: Elwood Blues

We would like to dedicate this song to a recently turbulent chunk of real estate at the end of highway 41, just south of the Alligator Alley on the Florida Peninsula, and to a certain resident there, you may know him, mister Wayne Cochran. My brother Jake will sing about that town.

Green Onions Speech
Speech By: Elwood Blues

All right people. The rest of the hard working all star Blues Brothers are gonna be out here in a minute, including my little brother Jake. But right now, I'd like to talk a little bit about this tune you're hearing. This is ofcourse the Green Onions tune. It was a very big hit in the early sixties in this country. And ofcourse it was composed and recorded in Memphis, Tennessee, right here in the United States Of America. You know, people, I believe that this tune can be acquinted with the great classical music around the world. Now you go to Germany, you've got your Bach, your Beethoven, your Brahms... Here in America you've got your Fred McDowell, your Irving Berlin, your Glenn Miller, and your Booker T & The MG's, people. Another example of the great contributions in music and culture that this country has made around the world. And as you look around the world today, you see this country spurned. You see backs turned on this country. Well people, I'm gonna tell you something, this continent, North America, is the stronghold! This is where we're gonna make our stand in this decade! Yeah, people, I've got something to say to the State Department. I say Take that archaic Monroe Doctrine, and that Marshall Plan that says we're supposed to police force the world, and throw 'em out! Let's stay home for the next ten years people! Right here in North America and enjoy the music and culture that is ours. Yeah, I got one more thing to say. I'm just talking about the music, people, and what it does to me. And that is, as you look around the world, you go to the Soviet Union or Great Britain or France, you name it, any country... Everybody is doing flips and twists just to get into a genuine pair of American blue jeans! And to hear this music and we got it all here in America, the land of the Chrysler 440 cubic inch engine!

Guilty & Perry Mason Theme
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Ladies and gentlemen, at this point in our soul, rhythm and blues, and blues revue, my brother Jake would like to become increasingly intimate with you, and he feels that he can unwind a little bit, sing a song about his personal life. Look at this, he's taking his coat off. Now when I put this dude to bed at night, he don't take his coat off, but he's taking it off for you people. Now here's my brother Jake. Thank you. (Jake sings 'Guilty') Looks like that verdict is in. My brother Jake is guilty... You know it's such a shame that it's so hard to find good, honest legal help these days. See, the problem with my brother and me is, we are recidivists, habitual criminal offenders. No attorney wants to go near us. I got to find him a lawyer, I don't know what I'm gonna do... (Elwood sings 'Perry Mason Theme')

Made in America Intro
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Good evening everyone and welcome to the United States of America. And indeed we have congregated here at this time to celebrate a most treasured wealthspring of contemporary music. It is the sound which historians in the far future might catalog under Twentieth Century Pre-Light-Emitting-Diode Euphoric, but today the sound lives, and tonight assembled exclusively for your entertainment pleasure, from the music capitals of this continent, this is the hard working all-star showband of 'Joliet' Jake and Elwood Blues, ladies and gentlemen, these are the Blues Brothers.

Introduction for 1979 Radio & Records Convention
Speech By: Elwood Blues

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 40th annual Los Angeles Police Used Vehicle and Equipment Auction.
Tonight, here in the Century Plaza's sumptuous California Level, we are pleased to offer you the opportunity of purchasing thousands of surplus police vehicles. But first, for your exclusive entertainment, would you please welcome, direct from their statewide motor tours of Illinois and Indiana, the master blues band of Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues, the Blues Brothers.

Cannes - Midnight Hour Intro
Speech By: Tommy 'Pipes' McDonnell

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see a historical night of music.
Right now we'd like to do a historical song, written by the one and only, Steve Cropper. A little song called, 'Midnight Hour'!